Monthly Archives: October 2021

A confession

Posted in personal, writing by

I have been meaning to write this for a very long time. Almost 3 months. It’s not a new thought or a new feeling. Something that has been brimming in me for couple of years but I have managed to push through it. Believed it to be a phase, a thing thats side effect of work and my busy days. But I am at a point where it feels quite disingenuous to post what I want to post here without providing some sort of explanation. Consider this as one, if you will.

Catharsis. Of sorts.

I don’t feel like writing stories anymore. I just don’t. Are there ideas in my head? Yes, some. Do I feel like writing them? Sure, sometimes. When I do sit down to write, the output is mediocre. I get bored of the content I produce. I have a pretty healthy ego and I can identify good, decent, something repetitive and plain boring. If I can’t enjoy reading what I have written, or what I am writing, it’s not something I would be wanting to post.

With this dilemma I did put out a story and completed it. It was heartbreaking to go back to it again, just a couple of weeks ago. It’s not my best and it’s…exhausting. it was so exhausting to read and I wasn’t remotely liking it. It was perhaps the metaphorical kick that I needed that I must acknowledge that I need not just a break but to willfully accept that writing, as any craft, needs practice, and that I am not very good at it.

And I am quite okay with that assessment. I am dried up when it comes to write, what I write isn’t enjoyable to me. And when I don’t like what I write, that’s a problem. So I have been wondering avjut this foe a while about this. Do I still hammer it out? Or stop it and enjoy doing what I love doing.

In the past I have promised updates and I haven’t delivered on them. I don’t do that with any other thing in life. But when it comes to writing updates, consistency has been lacking. It’s not been a priority and though I’ve been upfront about it, it privately irks me that I do this a lot. Even when I could may be have made it a priority, I haven’t done so in recent years. I noticed this more and more when started to write long form fiction. This has turned into a sermon and I didn’t mean to.

TLDR; my writing on this blog will mostly be this and that, movies, books, rants, rambles, pictures and a short story here and there. I don’t know when I will continue or get back to writing full form fanfiction or even original writing. My mind isn’t in it anymore.

If you are here for fan fictions only and don’t want to stay anymore, I totally understand.

I haven’t decided if I want to continue on this blog or write on my back up. This blog has been fanfiction on upfront and many visit from India forums for that very purpose. On this, I do ask your input. What do you guys think? This one or a different one?

I wanted to get this out as we enter the last quarter of the year. Can you believe 2021 is ending? If I want to move to a new blog I want to transition slowly as soon as possible and move some non fanfiction posts there.

If you have stayed till this point, my thanks. Thanks for being here for all this while. My apologies as well.

See you soon.